February 09 2017

Pope Francis Fails To See Irony In Denouncing Trump Wall While Living In Vatican City Surrounded By Hundred Foot Tall Wall

Pope Francis has denounced President Trump's plan to build a wall as unpatriotic, despite residing in a fortress resembling something from Mordor in Lord Of The Rings.

Seeing no similarities between the gigantic imposing barrier surrounding his own home of Vatican City and the proposed America/Mexico border wall, he described Trump as "Someone who just doesn't care if he hurts anyone's feelings. All he can seem to think about are pragmatic, realistic solutions. This is obviously an ideology of hate."

"If Trump wants to see the kingdom of heaven, he would be better off opening all borders and stopping all checks. This would mean the amount of love entering the country could only increase."

As Pope Francis spoke to our reporter, strolling along the Vatican City rampart walls and making sure all the defensive boiling oil cauldrons were at optimal temperature, he reflected on how the whole world had to come together.

"Everyone must come together and hate the evil fascist democratically elected Donald Trump. That's the kind of unity the whole world needs."